She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
