ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
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