Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
