Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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