I want to have your abortion
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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