its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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