I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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