U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
