Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
