just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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