she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
