I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
