My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
