I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
