You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
