Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
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Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize