rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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