you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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