My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
