Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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