you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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