I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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