So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
