If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this is an emotional support booty call
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
