Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
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