im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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