Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
how drunk are you?
Several
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
