That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
