I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
