i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
