I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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