Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
