i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know her cup size but not her name....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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