In America we eat man semen.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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