i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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