my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
