i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
