He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
