haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
