Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize