Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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