he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize