Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
