how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
