Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
