im having a threesome with these popsicles
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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