he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
