I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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