if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize