Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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