Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Mom said you looked used
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.