you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?