Insert tab A into swedish slot B
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.