I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
