I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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