It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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