I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
