I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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