everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
