I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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