Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
