I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
