I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
