butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
