I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
