You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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