There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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