physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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