Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
