I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize