haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
