I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
